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Search Results 0 to 4 of about 5 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Jan 21, 2013 10:30am PST
've not destroyed the world's economy for over four years. the attacks keep coming. hsbc targeted bay justice department witch hunt over a few minor infractions. >> hsbc admitted today that it covered up illegal transactions for burma, iran, sudan, cuba and libya. those nations were under banking sanctions because of human rights atrocities, terrorism or in iran's case, a nuclear program. >> stephen: big deal. [ laughter ] it's not like hsbc was the one enriching plutonium, they were just enriching themselves. there's just one other thing. >> it laundered more than $800 million for mexican drug cartels. >> hundreds of thousands of u.s. dollars daily deposited to hsbc mexico using boxes specially made to fit through tellers windows to speed transactions. >> stephen: okay, but how was hsbc supposed to know the big specially made boxes the cartels were dropping off were full of drug money? they could have just as easily been filled with human heads. [ laughter ] turns out it was drug money and once they were caught, hsbc was slammed with a $1.9 billion fine. $1.9 billion dollars. do you have any
Comedy Central
Jan 22, 2013 11:30pm PST
? the republicans had everything going for them: a terrible economy, an unpopular incumbent, and a positive message for the american voter: less than half of you are parasites. [ laughter ] and still -- still we lost. [ laughter ] and with america's changing demographics, it only looks bleaker for republicans in the future, unless science can find a way for latino women to give birth to old white men. [ laughter ] where is the funding, koch brothers?! get on it! 'cause it's bad. it's bad, folks. in 2012 the gop lost the presidency, lost the senate, and lost the vote count in the house of representatives by a combined 1.1 million votes. republicans haven't gotten an ass-paddling like that since dc shut down madame kink's rump dungeon. [ laughter ] if it's wednesday, ask for the trickle-down. [ laughter ] and it's getting so bad, that to win the presidency next time, republicans might have to change their messaging or their policies or the constituencies they serve. thankfully, there's a better answer and that brings us to tonight's word. [cheers and applause] win, lose, or redraw. now, conservative
Search Results 0 to 4 of about 5 (some duplicates have been removed)